By Dean Matthew
When your marriage is lacking life - Use these fifteen tips to spice it up!
1. Ask about what they like in the bedroom. We all have different thoughts and fantasies. What you may like, your spouse might not. You need to know what your spouse likes and dislikes. You need to have these conversations before you hop in the sack. Ask questions about What excites them, what turns them on, what they might find interesting to explore and what they wouldn't like at all. This will help increase the spice factor in your marriage.
2. Dream about your future together. One quick way to spice up your marriage is to dream about your future. Think about where you want to be next month, next year, in the next five years, In the next 20 years. If you plan on being in each others lives for the long haul - you should aim for things you want to do and achieve together. This will help keep you connected and give you a purpose in your relationship!
3. Brush your teeth. This one is purely practical. If you've got nasty morning breath (or evening breath, or after you eat garlic breath) - No one wants to be around that! It takes 30 seconds to brush your teeth! Take those 30 seconds and make your breath smell fabulous! Your spouse will appreciate it.
4. Make a dream list together.This is similar to dreaming about your future together. Find magazines with pictures of things that you want to do together - improvements to your home, places you want to go, things you want to see, things that you would love to do with your spouse. Make a scrapbook or a big poster of them. Put them somewhere where you can see them together - maybe in the master bathroom. Give your mind a visual picture of what you want to do and where you want to go in your marriage.
5. Catch them doing something well, then compliment. Everybody loves to be told they're doing something well, but we don't do this with our spouses enough. Often times, we just put them down and nag. Why don't you find something that they do well, notice it, and compliment them on it?
'Honey, I love the dinner that you made!' 'Honey, you are a great mom!' 'Boy I sure do love when you mow the yard!' 'When you take the trash out it just lights my fire!' Ok, maybe that last one is a bit far fetched.
6. Comment on how they look. When your wife gets a new haircut or a new dress, notice it, and make a nice comment. If your husband shaved or is wearing a suit, tell them how good he looks! Tell him what you like about the look and maybe even tell them what you would like to see him in next. The point is to engage with your spouse and the things that they are doing. Too often we operate in what seems like separate worlds - even when we are living under the same roof!
7. Flirt with each other publicly. Sometimes flirting completely vanishes after you been married for a period of time. Take to flirting again. Learn how to flirt with your spouse! Leave little love notes. Tease him in public. Grab their backside. Put your hand on her knee. Hold hands. Smile. Kiss. Or, for the daring, take it to the next level! It's up to you to decide with your spouse.
8. Get a babysitter. Date nights are an important thing to a marriage. Keep them consistent and keep them often! It's important to have babysitters so you can pass off your children when you need to have a date with your spouse. Ideas for baby-sitters: The next-door neighbor teens. Swap date nights with another couple that has kids. Find groups that offer sitting services, like churches. Offer the service for other couples in your church - then swap. Your Parents or In-laws. Babysitters are important to keep the spice in your marriage!
9. Schedule sex. I'm not one who likes to schedule sex, but I know that if it's not on the calendar, It doesn't always happen. Good, consistent, scheduled sex is better than no sex at all! Put sex on the calendar so you can keep the physical part of your relationship alive!
10. Hold hands.Any type of physical touch is a good thing with your spouse. Holding hands is a great place to start.
11. Forgive easily and quickly. Holding a grudge with your spouse will do great damage to your marriage. Surprisingly, the main reason to forgive is not for your spouse. Forgiving is for you. If you hold onto something, it makes you upset and festers in your mind. Your spouse goes on with their life and doesn't even realize you're holding resentment. Learn how to forgive quickly and completely. You may not forget, but you do need to forgive.
12. Listen better. I've written about how to rel=nofollow [http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-spice-up-your-marriage]spice up your marriage by listening before. I'll say it again - We need to listen to our spouses! We need to pay attention when our spouse is speaking! Engage in the present moment and the conversation. It's a sign of respect and regard for your spouse. It shows them that you're interested and that they matter to you.
13. Don't keep secrets. Lots of couples hide things from each other. Three that come to mind are Money, Eating, and Sexual habits. If anything is hidden and your spouse finds out about it, it could be disastrous for your marriage. My philosophy is that you should be on the same team with your money. Incoming and outgoing - no secret accounts or hidden spending. Your spouse should know about your eating habits and decision-making. No sneaking to the fridge in the middle of the night! Talk to your spouse about what works for you with food - and what needs to not be in the house! Men tend to hide their sexual exploits - and in today's technology age, pornography is killing more and more marriages. Tip 1 on this list is very important to your marriage. Make sure, if you aren't ready to talk about your sexual issues with your spouse, that you find a safe person to share with. Then at the appropriate time, you can talk with your spouse about it.
14. Pray together. If you can't take your marriage to God, what else have you got? Since God made everything and cares about you and your spouse, it would probably be a wise thing to pray about your marriage. I suggest starting with a prayer to change yourself, not your spouse. Perhaps, before you end the day together, take several minutes to lift up the good things from the day, and for your requests that need help from someone bigger than you!
15. Never bad mouth your spouse in public. Never say bad things about your spouse to your friends or in a public place. It's demeaning, and no person deserves that. Even if your spouse is frustrating you, you should keep your marital issues in your marriage and not out with your friends. If you have a problem with your spouse, talk to them first, then go to a counselor if it can't be resolved. So called 'friendly advice' quickly becomes gossip, or a "snip" session trying to "one up" each other about how bad they have it with their spouse. Who needs that!?
Keep an eye out for 15 more ways to Spice Up Your Marriage coming soon!
Dean Matthew enjoys learning more and more about his wife, big hugs from his son, and a good cigar. He runs the marriage website [http://www.howtospiceupyourmarriage.com]How to Spice Up Your Marriage.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Friday, March 18, 2011
How Can I Save My Marriage? - Four Tips to Save Your Marriage
By Mia Hart
Do you find yourself asking how can I save my marriage?
I find it incredibly sad that so many once happily married couples find themselves going through extreme states of emotional turmoil in their relationships and down right troubling to know just how many of them wind up in a messy divorce.
While divorce may seem like the popular choice nowadays, it is not the only solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. If both partners are truly committed to saving their relationships there are a number of other solutions I can offer. Relationship counseling is always a good first step since it becomes possible for the couple to have a mediator to help sort out their issues.
There are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage in addition to professional counseling. It really isn't complicated but does require that both couples work toward the same common goals in their marriage. Below are four tips to consider when asking "How can I save my marriage?" that will improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.
* First, acknowledge the fact that the "perfect" marriage is NOT a reality. In the best of marriages there are always differences when two people are brought together. It isn't necessarily the differences that are the issue (even the ones that can grow into real deal breakers) it's how we choose to handle them. To seek perfection will prove futile and a waste of time and energy. For a marriage to be truly successful, the couple must learn to deal with the rough times and overcome and (or) mutually respect their differences. One of the most beautiful qualities of human beings is that we do get to make mistakes. If you work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, you'll soon realize the possibility of saving your relationship.
* Second, good communication is vital in any partnership. When communication is lacking in a close union such as marriage, you are bound to face difficulties. Simply be honest with your partner. Just about every issue or problem can be solved if solid communication is maintained throughout your relationship.
* The third tip is to openly accept compromise. To compromise does not mean you are accepting fault or losing a battle. It simply means that you are choosing to meet on neutral ground. This can be considered an art, and with good reason! The middle ground will facilitate a conclusion to the conflict that will concur with both parties views. Before even raising the question of "How do I save my marriage?", you must accept that marriage is about compromise. There will always be occasions when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to maintain a successful relationship.
* Marriage is also about commitment so the forth tip probably comes as no surprise. The final tip to save a marriage is COMMITMENT! In it's simplest form, a long term relationship can be compared to a car. If your car breaks down you just aren't going to abandon it on the side of the road. Generally, the only time you get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Marriage is about commitment and working towards making a lasting relationship.
Of course there are times where divorce is necessary. Sometimes, the damage to the marriage cannot be fixed and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. If there are some issues that cannot be resolved, counseling probably won't help. Out side of these cases, divorce is not your only answer. So when seeking your answer to "How can I save my marriage?", dig down deep and work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your relationship. You both could be very happy you did!
Did you know that 99% of all attempts to restore relationships fail? Before you make the same mistakes, find out how to get your ex back [http://www.squidoo.com/Get_Your_Ex_Back_Forever] the right way!
Discover the break through methods [http://www.squidoo.com/Get_Your_Ex_Back_Forever] designed to bring your relationship back together for the long term. This includes ground breaking advice and video from the "relationship fixer" himself, who has secretly helped over 6,100 people in 67 countries.
Are you ready to claim your chance at happiness?
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Do you find yourself asking how can I save my marriage?
I find it incredibly sad that so many once happily married couples find themselves going through extreme states of emotional turmoil in their relationships and down right troubling to know just how many of them wind up in a messy divorce.
While divorce may seem like the popular choice nowadays, it is not the only solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. If both partners are truly committed to saving their relationships there are a number of other solutions I can offer. Relationship counseling is always a good first step since it becomes possible for the couple to have a mediator to help sort out their issues.
There are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage in addition to professional counseling. It really isn't complicated but does require that both couples work toward the same common goals in their marriage. Below are four tips to consider when asking "How can I save my marriage?" that will improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.
* First, acknowledge the fact that the "perfect" marriage is NOT a reality. In the best of marriages there are always differences when two people are brought together. It isn't necessarily the differences that are the issue (even the ones that can grow into real deal breakers) it's how we choose to handle them. To seek perfection will prove futile and a waste of time and energy. For a marriage to be truly successful, the couple must learn to deal with the rough times and overcome and (or) mutually respect their differences. One of the most beautiful qualities of human beings is that we do get to make mistakes. If you work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, you'll soon realize the possibility of saving your relationship.
* Second, good communication is vital in any partnership. When communication is lacking in a close union such as marriage, you are bound to face difficulties. Simply be honest with your partner. Just about every issue or problem can be solved if solid communication is maintained throughout your relationship.
* The third tip is to openly accept compromise. To compromise does not mean you are accepting fault or losing a battle. It simply means that you are choosing to meet on neutral ground. This can be considered an art, and with good reason! The middle ground will facilitate a conclusion to the conflict that will concur with both parties views. Before even raising the question of "How do I save my marriage?", you must accept that marriage is about compromise. There will always be occasions when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to maintain a successful relationship.
* Marriage is also about commitment so the forth tip probably comes as no surprise. The final tip to save a marriage is COMMITMENT! In it's simplest form, a long term relationship can be compared to a car. If your car breaks down you just aren't going to abandon it on the side of the road. Generally, the only time you get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Marriage is about commitment and working towards making a lasting relationship.
Of course there are times where divorce is necessary. Sometimes, the damage to the marriage cannot be fixed and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. If there are some issues that cannot be resolved, counseling probably won't help. Out side of these cases, divorce is not your only answer. So when seeking your answer to "How can I save my marriage?", dig down deep and work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your relationship. You both could be very happy you did!
Did you know that 99% of all attempts to restore relationships fail? Before you make the same mistakes, find out how to get your ex back [http://www.squidoo.com/Get_Your_Ex_Back_Forever] the right way!
Discover the break through methods [http://www.squidoo.com/Get_Your_Ex_Back_Forever] designed to bring your relationship back together for the long term. This includes ground breaking advice and video from the "relationship fixer" himself, who has secretly helped over 6,100 people in 67 countries.
Are you ready to claim your chance at happiness?
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Practical Tips to Save Your Marriage
By Tim Lee
When a couple says their marriage vows during matrimony, it is assumed that they intend to live the rest of their lives with each other.
But because marriage involves not just a person, but two, the differences in perspective and personalities would eventually set in and influence the flow of the relationship.
Troubles within marriages are inevitable and are crucial and essential part of the sacred and legal union of two persons.
Married couples nowadays move on easily from a failed marriage. With the advent of new laws regarding divorce and annulment, people find that it is easy to get into marriage easily, as well get out of it.
Times indeed have changed. The once sacred and well-touted sacrament and union is now made as a short-term or somehow experimental living endeavor between a couple.
Troubles are now welcomed by all marriages. Statistics show that more and more couples would aim to vow out of marriage instead of strive hard to save a failing marriage.
However, there is a significant number of couples who would always want to save a marriage once it is bound for doom. Here are some of the most practical tips on how you could attempt to save your marriage.
1. Communicate with each other. There is no other better means to resolving differences than a sincere and open discussion between a married couple.
2. Stay reasonable and calm. Arguments would always lead to something more serious and morbid. Staying calm in spite of anger would be a key to maintaining a calm and harmonious atmosphere at home.
3. Have occasional spaces. Sometimes, it would be helpful if both would at times wander on their own to get in touch with their inner self. Advocate similar moves and see it work.
Marriages are worth saving and fighting for. Growth would be better attained by both the husband and the wife if they would only open up and aim to strive harder into saving their marriage.
Is your marriage in trouble? To learn simple, easy strategies to save your marriage, please go to http://www.how-to-save-a-marriage.info/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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